Saturday, December 24, 2005
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it's christmas eve.bliss?NOT.i dunno why.this year,i aint in the christmas mood.maybe of what happened just now.i mean is it my fault.i tried my best to explain it.but it dint seem to get to you.oh yes.sure.get pissed.but cmon.cant i be right at times.how do i feel?it's like this sharp knife piercing in and out,in and out.the pain is like a sudden rush to me.oh i guess so,you say.well.from my point of view nth seems to be going right today.
"you are only happy when you're with the one who makes you sad"one of my friends said that to me.hah.how true can it be?well....maybe for now.
it seems like none of my christmas wishes are gonna come true eh?what can i say?i cant do anything about it.i really cant.i just wish everything would just stop here.stop in this moment of time.you know itry so hard to fake my smile today in front of my family.i dont wanna spoil THEIR christmas mood.im hurt im hurt im hurt.i truly hurt.ive nvr been this hurt before.NOT AT ALL.
you know,my christmas wish was to share that very special day with the one i truly love.and now,that isnt gonna happen is it?santa,thank you.thank you so much,for giving her to me.thank you for letting her be there for me.but THANK YOU santa,for letting her not be with me...FOR CHRISTMAS.i rmb once,sng did this post saying that i'd spend every christmas with different PARTNERS.well,i thought that i could spend christmas with her for each and every year.i guess i was wrong.
it's a wonder how just a few lines from wht's going on in your mind can hurt one so deeply huh.yepp.dont try it with anyone.dont.esp someone you love so so dearly.maybe its just me.well,amerie.i think it's time you grow up.yes.grow up.it aint gonna be easy.SECOND THOUGHTS,SECOND THOUGHTS.i hate it.i hate it.someone get me out of this hole i just fell in.get the ol' amerie here.WHERE IS SHE?
love is bliss,
love is wonderful,
well..i used to think so.
not anymore.
can you change my mind?
i love you.dont do this to me.
| amerie fought for sanity @ 4:07 PM|
&i wonder if you ever loved me
